Tag Archives: wish

Stay

After the heart is broken
what choice does it have
but to bleed out
to scab
to scar
to somehow
blend in again with skin
that’s textured as yours?

After the heart is broken
what choice does it have
but to heal
to  hope
to wait
to somehow
believe that love
has been looking for you
and all it wants is for you
to notice it and stay.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
8-9-18

 

 

 

Nights Like This

Nights like this
you wish he would
show up at your door
out of the blue sorrow
you’ve been swimming in.
Nights like this
you imagine yourself letting go.
You imagine breaking
the tight grip of every restraint
propriety has on you.
Nights like this
you are alone enough
to imagine yourself
out of bounds.
You are alone enough
to imagine yourself bold.
Nights like this
are the nights
he never comes.

 

5-18-18

 

 

 

Filter

The filter is on
and love is squirming
twisting
trying to say
what it feels
like it needs to say
but I am the gatekeeper
who decides
how much
should be revealed
and I have one finger
on the trigger
one foot on the gas
another finger
over the barrel
and one heel
about to catch fire
from all this friction
all this dragging
all this restraint
that is supposed
to save me
from embarrassment
and the sudden
doe-eyed expression
on my face
that contains
every truth I can
never say.

 

 

 

DeMaris
1-2-17

Painting by Vilhelm Hammershoi, public domain

No Right

A man
and a woman
have no right
to fall
to feel
to fantasize
about each other
or about a life
outside
their bedroom
even if the bed
they go home to
is empty
or on the floor
or otherwise
unoccupied
by heat
as long as
this man
and this woman
have somehow
committed
the most
Intimate
part
of themselves
to an incompatible
other
in the form
of a promise
that no one
wants to
keep.

 

 

 

DeMaris
11-10-17

Mushroom Cloud

The days
that separate us
are long
and large
and almost empty
compared
to the few days
here and there
when we
are together
talking
listening
laughing—
and your warmth
always finds me
envelops me
enters me
causes
a nuclear explosion
a mushroom
cloud of feeling
spreading
from my core
to my edges
and when you leave
I float down
with the fallout
in pieces
wishing
you’d want
to stay
long enough
to see what we
could look like
whole.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-6-17

 

Photo by Mark Mawson

Meaning

So tempting
to think rain
must mean
god is expressing
emotion,
sharing
in your epic
melancholy—
or the collision
between the semi
and the car
in front of you
means you were
favored
over the two children
who ended up
in the ER—
and the dead
towhee you almost
stepped on
must have been
placed on the trail
as a reminder
of how quick
and unfairly
all this might come
to an end—
and the
coneflower
must possess
all the magic
of the universe
because it leaves you
with the truth
after you pluck
its petals—
“he loves me”
which means
you can ignore
all the other signs
that say he doesn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
8-29-17