Tag Archives: uncertainty

Mind Reader

Where are you
you absent one
who knows
that now is when
I need something
large and warm
to crawl into
something like
an old quilt
with lots of color
and comfort
something marsupial
with a heartbeat
something easy
to get out of
when I’m weak
with uncertainty
and no sense
of direction
where are you
when I am lost
in dysfunction
no one can see—
where is the question
I need you to ask:
Are you okay?
And I won’t even
need to say no.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
8-15-17

“Woman with Red Umbrella” By T.C. Steele

Frayed

 

After all this time
you thought that love
might be floating
in the air between you—
might be settling
onto your skin
like a favorite
flannel shirt with
frayed edges so soft
you don’t want
to remove it for anything—
but maybe you don’t feel
the same to him
because he doesn’t seem
to want you
wrapped around him
in those photographs
he offers to the public eye
wearing that smile
you were certain
was meant only for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
8-7-17

“The Gleaner” by Jules Adolphe Breton, 1900

Telling the Truth

I believe him
when he says
I love you
in the mornings
and before
we go to sleep
in separate beds
in separate houses
because it feels true
and warm and holy
and because
I want to believe
everything else
he tells me too—
but there’s
someone else
who shares his bed
and she believes
that she’s the only one
who has his heart,
which sometimes
makes me wonder
if he hasn’t told her
the truth
because he isn’t sure
exactly what it is—
or how many varieties
and variations of love
it’s possible
to live with
before one of them
begins to feel
like a lie.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
3-8-17

 

Contrast

You want to get to him
fast
so you find yourself running
driving
rushing
toward his arms
because
you see him
as the compliment
to every wish
you’ve already had
come true
but he doesn’t seem
to be moving
toward you
at quite the same speed
so you slow down
to realize
he is walking
without urgency
in your general direction
and you are suddenly
unsure
if he had any plan
to stop
once he got to you.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
2-9-17

Bearable Things

There are so many
bearable things
like stepping out of bed
at 6 a.m.
into comfortable slippers
and trying to fall asleep
again at midnight
and failing
because you have a mind
that likes to play
in the dark alleys
of the wrong parts of town
and even when you aren’t
in the comfort
of the horizontal position
there are so many things
that are just okay
and nothing out there is
demanding your attention
or threatening your life
and the work
is steady enough
to order takeout without guilt
and still buy those boots
you saw in the window
even though
they didn’t have your size
and you were certain
it would be alright
because they were beautiful
and they would stretch
to accommodate
your need for them
which has been your approach
to almost everything
and might even be why
you said yes
on that occasion long ago
when there was just a tiny pinch
of uncertainty
but you convinced yourself
there was no such thing
as a perfect fit.

 

DeMaris Gaunt
1-31-15

Lost

Lost.
I love that word,
so often pushed
upon the young and the single—
the wayward population of misfits
who don’t settle, or won’t.
But I’m anchored, happily,
to a house and family
in the uneventful suburbs
with navigable roads
and a grocery store in sight.
I already know
the story of tomorrow.
There’s no uncertainty
about the love I come home to,
no deficit of laughter or funds—
still, there’s the awkward nudge
to make lost my destination—
to escape inexplicably
into the night
to get there.

DeMaris Gaunt
10-29-14