Tag Archives: self-esteem

How I Look

Sometimes
happy music plays
in another room
and even
if you close your door
sound waves
sneak in
and all you want
is silence
or dark music
that is so full
of melancholy
it makes you feel
indistinguishable
from the air
that is filled
with what looks like
nothing.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
12-13-17

“Interior with Piano and Woman in Black” by Vilhelm Hammershoi, 1901

Bell Curve

We all fall
somewhere
on the bell curve
of beauty—
and where
most of us fall
isn’t on top
of the soft
and level
bubble
but somewhere
on the slope
that is so
slick
and without
a foothold
there is nothing
to break
our fall
and we’re sliding
so fast
no one
even notices
we might be
slightly
and maybe even
curiously
pretty—
because no one
is looking
anywhere
but up.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
12-12-17

Photo by Marty Koch

 

Voice

“You own everything that happened to you.  Tell your stories.  If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”  ~Anne Lamott

 

You’ve been told
warned is more like it
that you really shouldn’t
write this down
and add it to the internet
or to the sum of your woes
but you know what it’s like
how it feels to be silent
wide eyed as you hear
the sharp words enter you
destroy your self-esteem
those letters arranged
in sentences that suggest
you control your appetite
do something about the size
of your ass your thighs
are thicker than your skin
so you obey and swell up
on the inside as your body
shrinks into invisibility
hoping someday someone
will notice that your voice
is just a mirror reflecting
everything your heart absorbs
and maybe someone would even
try to test it with something
tender like love to see
how sweetly you can sing.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
6-10-17

*As I explain in my bio, my poems are sometimes true, sometimes fiction, sometimes a mix. This poem came to me last night after I ate not one, but two brownies (gasp!) and was reminded of past relationships (yes, plural) with individuals who were more concerned with my appearance than my happiness.