Tag Archives: human relationships

Shape of Love

He cracked
the oval eggs
into the round
frying pan
and I folded
his t-shirts
into perfect squares
and we sat close
on the
rectangular couch
with his arm
circling my shoulders
and my hand
wedged
between his thighs
which is the picture
of nothing
special
nothing extrodinary
except
that it feels
exactly how love
should feel
which is happy
and whole.

DeMaris 

11-21-17

Love, Declined

It truly didn’t matter
how happy we were
sitting on that fallen oak
covered with snow
talking about the things
we’d do come spring
or how perfectly content
you seemed
pinned to the tulip tree
which helped you stand
as I kissed you for the
thousandth time
with no way to know
it would be the last—
all our talks and laughter
and comfortable silences
weren’t right enough
for those words
you whispered in my ear
to mean what I thought
they would mean
when I wanted to know
if we could be more
than just a foolish wish
that wouldn’t come true.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
1-31-17

 
 

 

 

Shadow Love

“I was never insane except upon occasions
when my heart was touched.”  ~Edgar Allan Poe

 

Shadow Love (Version One)

For once
I just want to cry
without talking myself out of it—
without reminding myself
that no one owes me anything.
I want to lose my composure
for once without feeling pathetic—
and I want to feel weak for once
without feeling guilty.
I just want to cry for a minute,
alone, on the other side
of that goddamn door
I can’t seem to push all the way open—
that same door
I cannot bring myself to close.

 

Shadow Love (Version Two)

I just want
to cry over him
without talking myself out of it—
without reminding myself
that he owes me nothing.
I want to lose my composure
without feeling pathetic—
and I want to feel weak for once
without feeling guilty.
I just want to cry for a minute,
alone, on the other side
of his goddamn door—
but I can’t seem to push it
all the way open—
though he doesn’t seem interested
in keeping it closed.

 

 

 

DeMaris
1-10-17

Illustration by Wilfried Satty, 1976

Winter Solstice

 

Tomorrow
the days will begin to grow longer
as if some kind of dull hope
can be extracted from this cold.
But today is the darkest day—
today I want to follow you
into the woods instead of going home
where I belong to my duties
and all the promises I’ve ever made.
Today is when my heart
begins to break
into heart shaped pieces like confetti—
which I will scatter in a sad celebration
that I will never have to lose you
because you’ll never be mine.

 

 

DeMaris
12-20-16

 Photo by Deanna Morae 

 

Opening

I am lost
in a ball of darkness
as my eyes close
and my arms pull
my legs to my breasts
and you are the absent
thing I am living without
and all I can do
is wish and imagine
you are in the universe
of my bedroom
taking off your clothes
with a kind of urgency
that is unmistakably
primal and pulsing
and we would last
as long as we could
with our hands exploring
and our lips pressing—
and after my mouth turned you
into the smoothest stone
I would open my eyes
to see yours
waiting for permission
to close
the intolerable gap.

 

 

DeMaris
12-13-16

Photo by Deanna Morae

Somewhere, Re-imagined

 

You were there
and I was there too
and we were close enough
to touch each other
with our gloved hands
instead of just words—
which is what
we were accustom to.
It was twilight
under trees, under snow
that fell so slowly
it didn’t have time
to accumulate into an excuse
for me to be stuck on the trail
or in my car which was
parked so close to yours.
I didn’t wait for you
to walk into the winter scene—
didn’t wait for you
to notice me putting my keys
into the ignition.
Didn’t have the nerve
to wish you might want
to stop me from driving away
and ask if we could go
somewhere else
somewhere warm like
your kitchen or your bed
where we would decide
not to ruin everything
by making love
the way we make love
in my imagination.
So I drove away—
unable to risk the possibility
of waking up in your bed
in your arms which is only
where it feels like I belong.

 

 

DeMaris
12-11-16