Tag Archives: hope

Mirror

To prove
that I’m racist
my daughter
asks me
questions
like would you
rather adopt
a white child
or a black one
and I say
I’m not raising
any more kids
and she asks
if I’d feel
more comfortable
in a room
full
of white people
or black
and my answer
is wrong
true
complicated
and we sit
in silence
for a while
sipping coffee
thinking of
more questions
that no one
wants to answer
so she can get an A
on her paper
that’s going to
be a mirror
no one wants
to look into.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
10-31-17

Theory 

Maybe
the saddest
and most
bittersweet
realization
in life
is that we don’t
stay broken
that we heal
we recover
from the love
we thought
could never end
and that love
can be replaced
which means
we were wrong
it means
we misjudged
the function
of our hearts
which was never
to stay in one place
but to keep
searching
for a source
to fill
what will never
be full.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
10-30-17

Proof

When
you’re driving
down the road
feeling content 
listening
to The Rolling Stones
bobbing your head
tapping
your left foot
you realize
in that moment
everything
terrible
that’s ever happened
in your life
is behind you–
that you got through it
that this moment
proves
none of that s***
was big enough
or bad enough
to keep you down
on the bottom
where
you were so certain
you would stay.

DeMaris

9-25-17

Harbors 

The storm flares up
and glass-like waves
rock
rush
crash
into you
and there are
two ports
nearby—
one barely lit
with
an intermittent
glow—
you aren’t
yet sure
of its dependability—
but the other,
farther away,
has a brighter light—
seems to have
everything
you’ll need
in a harbor.
You turn
in its direction
hoping it’s safe—
hoping
you made
the right choice—
now, all you can do
is follow
its illumination
pulling you
onto its shore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-13-17

 

Exit Strategy

You need one
even if you think
you’ll never use it —
go ahead and plan your escape
while you’re still in love
and still think
maybe it will all work out okay—
that he’ll begin to see you
the way you see him—
with a power to illuminate
everything
like a candle in the middle
of a midnight room,
making even the darkest spaces
glow
with the soft light of hope—
but you know how quickly
a fire can start
and get out of control
if even the gentlest wind
blows a corner of the curtain
into the hot yellow wick—
so you need to listen
for that intuitive alarm
inside your smoldering heart
which will go off
when you’re close
to getting burned—
and it will sound like the wail
of a fire truck off in the distance
except it will be you, crying,
as you make your way
to one of your
designated exits
which might be the bathroom
or the basement—
but don’t expect a rescue.
You’ll need to save yourself
this time
or your whole heart
will go up in flames.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-2-17

Mad Love

Madness.
This is what you want.
This is what you hope for
crave
desire.
This is what you’ve never had.
You want love to mean necessity
no matter what.
You want love to mean
whatever it takes.
You want love
to be waiting up for you
longing for you
searching for you
carving out a place for you
dying for a moment with you—
sometimes you want love to say
just a minute
to everything but you—
You,
who would give life and limb
to hold such passion in your arms—
to return it
breathe it
swallow it
become it—
this is what you want
on a night like this
when everything you have to give
is contained inside you
boiling
steaming
waiting to be wanted
and consumed—
all of it going
to such terrible waste.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
3-1-17

 

“Lady of Shalott” John William Waterhouse, 1888

Why I Love Him

We don’t need each other, really,
in a desperate kind of way
like high school kids
dying for just one hello in the hallway—
we aren’t betting everything
that the queen of hearts
will give us her blessing
and a happily ever after—
we just know what feels right
right now—
and it happens to be the question mark
our bodies make when we’re still
after making love
and curled up naked and content
beside a fire that is slowly dying.

 

 

 

DeMaris
3-4-17

Painting by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec “In Bed the Kiss” 1892