Tag Archives: hope

Without Light

Desperate,
you almost reach out.
You almost make the call
that would undo
the tight little knot
you made
with the loose ends
that have been dragging
behind you
like the dead weight of love
after it can’t stand up straight—
so you leave the house
after dark
without a lifeline
without a light
hoping that when
you get back home
you’ll see him there
you’ll hear his voice—
and once again, you’ll glow.
But this is desperation,
and everyone knows
that nothing good
nothing you need
comes in this shape or size—
and nothing but the grave,
cold and forever,
is going to erase this need.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
10-14-18

 

Nothing Left to Say

Funny
to have nothing left to say
to have said it all

everything I feel
out there
in black and white

my heart gushing
onto a screen
resting in my lovers’ hand

all the right words
have been polished
in the tumbler of my heart

poured out
into this silence
that will keep me awake

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-4-18

“Compartment C Car” by Edward Hopper, 1938

Nights Like This

Nights like this
you wish he would
show up at your door
out of the blue sorrow
you’ve been swimming in.
Nights like this
you imagine yourself letting go.
You imagine breaking
the tight grip of every restraint
propriety has on you.
Nights like this
you are alone enough
to imagine yourself
out of bounds.
You are alone enough
to imagine yourself bold.
Nights like this
are the nights
he never comes.

 

5-18-18

 

 

 

Mirror

To prove
that I’m racist
my daughter
asks me
questions
like would you
rather adopt
a white child
or a black one
and I say
I’m not raising
any more kids
and she asks
if I’d feel
more comfortable
in a room
full
of white people
or black
and my answer
is wrong
true
complicated
and we sit
in silence
for a while
sipping coffee
thinking of
more questions
that no one
wants to answer
so she can get an A
on her paper
that’s going to
be a mirror
no one wants
to look into.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
10-31-17

Theory 

Maybe
the saddest
and most
bittersweet
realization
in life
is that we don’t
stay broken
that we heal
we recover
from the love
we thought
could never end
and that love
can be replaced
which means
we were wrong
it means
we misjudged
the function
of our hearts
which was never
to stay in one place
but to keep
searching
for a source
to fill
what will never
be full.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
10-30-17