Tag Archives: divorce

Double Feature

Friday, almost midnight—
a movie theater mass exodus
into the dim-lit parking lot.
Voices hurry toward sleep
while my keys jingle and unlock
my sleeping god of destinations.
But another movie plays out
in my rear-view mirror—
an un-young couple embrace their wish.
The long strap of her green purse
is a snake on top of her white Nissan—
his body pressed between hers
and his dark blue Honda Accord.
He holds her as if this night
is all they have, have ever had—
as if he’d give anything
to be with her, elsewhere, anywhere
except in the hereafter of two hours
spent in the only dark they could afford—
I imagine them holding hands
in the back row, leaning into a dream
that will never come true—
forgetting about the lives they’ve
stepped out on to be here—
why else would she be crying
if this wasn’t the last scene
in their clandestine romance?
Why else would he still be sitting
in his car long after she drove away?

DeMaris
4-15-18

Zucchini

To get to your smile
I wrecked two homes
mine first
then yours
uprooting years
of complacency
years of good enough
and I knew
you might disappoint me
might be nothing
like a fairy tale
and you are nothing
like a fairy tale
but I am as far away
from disappointed
as Jack
when he discovered
the beanstalk
outside his window
because
you planted a seed
just for me
inside your garden
and for lunch
I sautéed zucchini
with butter and salt
and tasted
this fruit of your love.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-12-17

Going Going Gone

It’s a mystery
why I stayed
so long
settled
for being half
of myself
instead of whole
and it’s my fault
for thinking
that being alone
would reduce me
to loneliness
when there is
no place
more lonely
than being
at the table
across
from someone
who makes me
feel like I’m
not even there.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
7-14-17

Out Loud

Now that it’s over
and I begin to speak of us
out loud in past tense
I am able to listen
to myself
explain to others
how a perfectly
complacent marriage
became a severing
of the cleanest kind
without war or bitterness
or even regret
because neither of us
will take responsibility
for our contribution—
which is that detail
each of us will leave out
when we hear ourselves
tell our side of the story.

 

 

 

DeMaris
5-13-17

 

Almost Everything

I’ve found out
how little I can live with
in the aftermath
of a shared life
that was full
of accumulations
possessions
baggage
clutter
stuff
piled high enough
to interfere
with my peace of mind
and going from room to room
I choose only those things
I can’t live without
and to my surprise
what I can live without
is almost everything.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-30-17

Trying to Sleep

 

I’m trying
to sleep
in this bed
with my
marriage
crumbling
beside me
and all I can
think about
is the man
who is
thinking
about me,
and how
he might
one day
stop
thinking
that we are
meant to be
together
which is
the ironic
thing
I’m thinking
right now
about
the man
asleep
beside me.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
2-4-17

Painting by Edward Hopper “Summer in the City” 1950