Tag Archives: disappointment

Anger Management

I don’t
want to calm down
don’t want to cope
with this disappointment
this anger
that’s on me
in me
around me
for what feels like miles
and I don’t want
to walk out from under it
escape it
stop it
end it
push it back
no
it can stay as long as it likes
long enough for me
to hold it
examine it
study its origin
its source
the way it tightens
then loses its grip
and always disappears.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-14-18

Photo by Ansel Adams

Harbors 

The storm flares up
and glass-like waves
rock
rush
crash
into you
and there are
two ports
nearby—
one barely lit
with
an intermittent
glow—
you aren’t
yet sure
of its dependability—
but the other,
farther away,
has a brighter light—
seems to have
everything
you’ll need
in a harbor.
You turn
in its direction
hoping it’s safe—
hoping
you made
the right choice—
now, all you can do
is follow
its illumination
pulling you
onto its shore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
9-13-17

 

Prize

No one thinks ahead
to the small rooms we’ll go home to
when the night is black
and the lights are fluorescent
flashing and spinning
in every imaginable color
and the smell of cotton candy
and fried anything
is as thick as your wallet
when you pull it out to buy a chance
at the stuffed bear that’s twice as big
as the beautiful girl who says she wants it
and by the time you’re ready to give up
tossing the rings into a sea of two liter bottles
the carnie makes you a deal
says he’ll give you one more chance,
half price, and all of a sudden
you’re watching the enormous creature
being placed into the arms of your date
who, months later, will decide
she doesn’t have room in her life
for the two of you
and she’ll kick you both to the curb
and become someone else’s prize.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
8-25-17

 

Disappointment 

How
unexpected
to hear
your request
which felt
like a complaint—
and I could see
your feet
stomping
in my imagination
as my lips
curled
into a grin—
finally
a wish
you’d like me
to fulfill—
and your
disappointment
that I failed
to see this need
fills me
with joy
that you
are human
after all—
that I have
any power at all
to hurt you—
even if
it’s only
a little.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
7-11-17

Balance

It’s off
and you know it
and there’s
just no way
to settle it tonight—
so you go to bed
wondering how
you could have
been so mistaken
when you put
a little black
into the white
expecting
the painting to
become a little
more exciting
with shadows
so close
to the light—
but you ruined
the tone
and the mood
and the whole entire
sky is wrong
because
it wasn’t supposed
to look like rain.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-4-17

 

Shadow of Doubt

Maybe we
should end today—
put our love to rest
softly
before it begins
to want too much—
before it starts
to feel disappointed
by all these limits
we keep touching
when we want
to find each other
in the mess
of days—
haven’t we lived
long enough
to know happiness
will return to us
after it takes a leave
of absence?
Here in the dark
morning I know
the sun will blossom
soon and bring us
a pink promise
that thousands
of days are still ours
to live—
and this day
might be the hardest
and the longest
but somehow
we’ll survive it too.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
2-12-17