Tag Archives: break up

All of You

I wanted
all of you
instead of
just
the part of you
that loved me.
I wanted
the other bits too—
the large
and burdened
sections of you
that felt
unhinged
and reckless
for breaking up
the calm
you thought
would always
be yours.
I wanted you
to want me
to see
your shadow side—
I wanted you
to let me
hold your
sorrow
but I couldn’t
get near enough
to touch it
or to see
the expression
on your face
soften
if you would’ve
let me try
to carry
some of it
away.

 

 

 

DeMaris
5-29-17

Ansel Adams, “Clearing Storm” 1945

Scar Tissue

I must
have known
all along
we would
come to this—
that you’d
retreat
into solitude
which is where
I found you
standing
alone
on all those
mountaintops
where people go
to find
themselves—
I should have
recognized
your freedom
as your joy—
that you were
already
complete
in your
solitary state
and didn’t need
my love
to make you
whole.

 

 

 

DeMaris
1-30-17

 

Scenario

Woman:  I need to talk to you.

Man:  Can it wait?

Woman:  Yes, but…

Man:  Can you make it quick?

Woman:  This might be difficult to hear.

Man:  Go on.

Woman:  I don’t…

Man:  Hold on, I need to take this call.

Woman:  I’ll be upstairs.

Man:  That was a client.  What were you saying?

Woman:  I don’t know if I…

Man:  You don’t know if you what?

Woman:  I don’t know if we love each other like we’re supposed to.

Man:  You’ve got someone else, don’t you?

Woman:  I don’t have him.   He and I aren’t…

Man:  Are you cheating on me?

Woman:  I don’t know.

Man:  Are you sleeping with him?

Woman:  No.

Man:  Do you love him?

Woman:  I don’t know.

Man:  But you want to fuck him?

Woman:  No.  I don’t want to fuck him.  I just…

Man:  You just want to bake cookies with him?

Woman:  I just needed to tell you what was going on.

Man:  Is he in love with you?

Woman:  No.

Man:  Are you going to leave me for him?

Woman:  If I leave you, it won’t be for him.

Man:  Then why would you leave me?

Woman:  Because you’re never fully present.  You’re drunk or high, or…

Man:  So this other guy is perfect?

Woman:  He isn’t perfect.

Man:  How long has this been going on?

Woman:  Long enough that I needed to tell you.

Man:  What if I try to change?

Woman:  Then you’ll try to change.

Man:  Do you even want to work this out between us?

Woman:  I don’t know.

Man:  I hope you know this new guy is going to disappoint you.

Woman:  I can live with disappointments, but not without…

Man:  Without what?

Woman:  Love.

Man:  You know he’s got a slew of bad habits you know nothing about.

Woman:  I’m sure.

Man:  I love you.

Woman:  You need me.  You don’t love me.

Man:  Don’t tell me how I feel.

Woman:  I know how you feel.  You show me every day.

 

 

DeMaris
1-12-17

Painting by Edward Hopper, “Room in New York” 1932