Almost Everything

I’ve found out
how little I can live with
in the aftermath
of a shared life
that was full
of accumulations
possessions
baggage
clutter
stuff
piled high enough
to interfere
with my peace of mind
and going from room to room
I choose only those things
I can’t live without
and to my surprise
what I can live without
is almost everything.

 

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-30-17

Cuddles

Sometimes
all you want
is something
so simple
the words
you must use
to ask for it
feel too complex
and redundant
so you remain
silent—
hoping that
the one you love
will feel you
slipping under
and without
even asking
if you need
a hand
will pull you
back up
to the surface
and hold you
until you’re
ready to let go.

 

 

DeMaris
4-25-17

“The Kiss” Gustav Klimt, 1908

Infastructure

Mine is failing
with all these hard winds
coming in
to stoke the fires
that have melted me
from the inside out—
and the weight of nothing
to look forward to
is so heavy
on my shoulders
I have a hard time standing
up straight—
my legs just want to bend
into the comfort
of collapse
and my arms
are just about broken
from what might best
be described as metal fatigue—
all the reaching out
and pulling back—
the reaching out
and pulling back—
then the inevitable snap,
quick and almost silent.

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-20-17

 

Still Life

The thing is—
he could
he can
he does
cut me open
sometimes
just by leaving
me alone
when the space
between us
begs to be
closed
reduced
punctuated
by a word
or a promise
of nearness
but there is
so much
silence
emptiness
doubt
filling me up
I don’t know
if there will be
room for him
when he—
if—
he decides
to come.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-18-17

“Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog” by Caspar David Friedrich, 1818

Spectator

I think of you
wandering alone
through the dense
clusters of bluebells
and wood poppies
to the place where
wildness takes over
and replaces your worry
with calm—
and you opened
that door for me once
and led me into
your private sanctuary
where everything
was in bloom
and seemed perfectly
untamed
and without taint
and I felt the excitement
of a tourist
getting a glimpse
of paradise so pure
my temporary presence
must have seemed to you
a small contamination.

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-17-17

Melting 

He says he loves me
whatever that means–
could be
on his bucket list
to fall
for a girl
who could seduce him
with words–
but now
he’s in too deep
to take it back
since he knows
I’m willing to turn myself
inside out
to please him
and to prove that every
accommodation
I make for him
is just the tip
of an iceberg
he alone is melting.

 

 

DeMaris
4-16-17

Photo by Ansel Adams

Easter Sunday, 2017

I spent the morning
without Jesus
lingering like he used to
on the outskirts
of my sinful heart.
Now that I’ve cracked him
like an Easter egg
I can enjoy all the candy
of my imagination
without wondering
if he’s been peeking
into my private windows
as if some stone
had been rolled away.
And all the forgiveness
in the world
will not remove the
joy I feel for every sin
I’ve committed
in the name of love.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
4-19-17